I could try to give an "objective" review of Naruto based on the carefully analyzed qualities of story, art, characters, and overall enjoyment, but no, I really can't. I didn't read Naruto. A generation of weebs didn't read Naruto. We LIVED Naruto, through its highs and its lows, from the greatness of the Chunin Exams to the bloat of the Great Ninja War. Naruto isn't a manga. Naruto is puberty.

It started out all fun and games. I was in middle school, and this cartoon about super ninjas debuted on Cartoon Network. It had a guy who could use his hidden, red eye to copy his opponents. There was a mercenary who could make clones of himself out of water. The hero sometimes transformed into a naked lady. This show was everything you liked about anything when you were twelve years old. So when it took a two-week hiatus on Cartoon Network, I couldn't just be patient and and wait that short amount of time to pick up on the story. I had to beg my mom to take me to our local Borders(R.I.P.), so I could pick up those backwards books and see just what happened when Naruto and friends jumped across trees in that scary forest. From that point on, I stuck with the manga. I took a brief hiatus, but reading the Sound Five arc during a family trip to one of those boring-ass outlet malls reminded me that "yes. These cartoon ninjas are pretty great."

Let's fast-forward to the present. It's been two years since blondie finally became Hokage. Everyone agrees that the series should have ended sooner. Anime reviewers talk about "their Naruto phase" with total distain. Someone posts their 3x3 onto a forum, and Naruto is in the center. Then, they shout "JOKE! I AINT SUM NOOB!" They post their actual 3x3, and 5 of the slots are Legend of the Galactic Heroes.

Are our cynical, twenty-something-year-old selves correct? Or is Jaden Smith correct? If babies could talk, would they be the smartest people on Earth?

I don't believe that Naruto's mid-2000s popularity was undeserved. Sure, there are Shonen out there that didn't piss otaku off at the end of 15 years. A story called "the Great Ninja War" has no right to be as lame as it was, but the Chunin Exams? The Sound Five? Pain? This series had some exciting storylines. Some exciting battles. Memorable side characters who probably deserved more time, while Sasuke deserved less, but I think Naruto became a phenomenon for more reasons than just "kids are dumb."

And, this isn't just nostalgia speaking. I don't have much nostalgia for the last 15 or so volumes of the story, but even that pile of dung had some diamonds in it. Gaara talking to his father again was a nice way to wrap up one of the series's more emotional subplots. We get to meet the 1st Hokage, and there's more to his character than just "I was really good at fighting." A villain's backstory is told beautifully in a chapter without text. And, that final battle between Naruto and Sasuke: sure, the build-up was convoluted, but in the last volume, Kishimoto shows us that he can craft a tense battle in the comics medium: one that emphasizes harsh physical impact over dialogue and super magic. That last fight felt like the final ten minutes of a great wrestling match, and it reminded me that behind the editorial meddling and over-reliance on drawing assistants, Kishimoto does know how to work his medium.

Should a newbie jump into Naruto right now? Well, I'd certainly tell you to give the early volumes a try. You can tell that Kishimoto was losing his creative energy as the series dragged on. What the artwork gained in clarity, it lost in dynamicism. I really wish there was less Sasuke, and I would have love if Kishimoto settled on one primary antagonist. But, for everyone who is ashamed of their Naruto phase: please, don't be.